When I was growing up, my mother was sure that I'd become a school teacher one day.
Although I liked children and education, I fought that future tooth and nail. We had enough teachers in our family!
I dreamt of being an actress or an artist, living a bohemian life that involved travel and music -- but more importantly, an unstructured work environment. Sure, one day I'd have children of my own to share my life's philosophy, but that was about as far as it would go!
--
Well... those dreams came true to a certain extent -- but here I am now, faced with the inevitability of my mother's hopes and dreams coming to fruition.
Tomorrow, I take on this title of teacher. I am scared and excited, apprehensive but determined. My friends all say, "If anyone can do it, you can!" (I hope they are right.)
--
It's not like I came to this conclusion overnight. It has been vexing my mind for four years and I've spent the last three months settling the reality of it into my soul.
We gave private school a chance. But truthfully, I couldn't stomach another year of spending 24 grand on an education that just wasn't as perfect as it should be -- at least not for that kind of money! And sadly, public school (in our neighborhood) is simply not an option. (Believe me! I wanted it to be.) Outside of moving to a better school district in another city, homeschooling seems to be the most viable alternative for now.
--
So here we are. After months of picking friends and strangers brains alike, I think I've finally found a nice mixture of curriculum. My office has been transformed into a schoolroom. We bought vintage desks! {oh yes.} I'm looking forward to no uniforms, no wasted hours of driving, no unhealthy snacks, but mostly no one to blame but myself if the educational system is lacking! Plus, I'm going to ride on the fact that not one homeschooling parent I spoke with said anything negative about their experience. They all seem to love it!
That said, I'm not going to lie -- the past few weeks have been anxiety ridden. Why didn't I take even ONE education class in college? What if I'm not good enough? What if my children end up hating me? Worse, what if I hate it?
Well... I'm going to stand up to the "what ifs" and hold my head up high tomorrow as I start my new job. Worry about the future is as futile as reliving the past. I've a good feeling that once I stop thinking about it and just do it, things will naturally fall into place.
Besides, first day of school jitters are totally normal, right?
About Me
- 180360
- From the land of the Midnight Sun, to the lights of Sin City, mother and wife, possible artist, budding chef, learning yogi.
2 comments:
This is going to be a grand adventure. My mom home schooled my brother and sister for awhile. They all came out the other end better off and I'm sure you will too. Break a leg.
Kim,
I am proud of you for following your heart, your soul, your mind... in doing what is RIGHT at this time for yourself, your kids, and your family. I can relate with your decision, as I grew up in a not-so-good school district. Therefore, my mom 'worked to death' to pay for a private education (that in simple terms, was great in some ways but damaging in others). Lately I have been increasingly frustrated by the huge affects that budget cuts have had on our childrens' education and entire school experience. I have a little sister (my son's age- another story;) who is in a very, very expensive private school getting the education of what it seems like a 'Harvard student' would receive- including extracurricular activities that I wish I had (or have as an adult!!!). I feel, at times that I have no (or limited) control over this situation and greatly admire you for taking control of an 'out-of-control' situation.
Post a Comment